Parentingbest parenting tweets
"Should I be disturbed by the way my 8-year-old daughter plays doctor? I was her patient today, and she just made me fill out forms the whole time."
By
Caroline BolognaSenior Reporter, HuffPost LifeKids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Although Twitter has rebranded to X, the humor lives on.
Every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on the social media platform to spread the joy. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents for more!
— meghan (@deloisivete) June 4, 2024My 6yo has a plan to earn money for a playstation
Step 1. Find a huge diamond
Advertisem*nt
Sometimes people without kids see a mom out with her kids and are like “wow she makes that look easy” but not me. I come to your cookout with my children and make you say “oh my GOD we are never having children”
— Lucy Huber (@clhubes) June 2, 2024
— KD 📚🌎🌊🇺🇸 (@kdnerak33) June 3, 2024With two weeks left of school, I decided to let the kids sit wherever they want.
The boys put all their desks in one big group and named it Fart Island.
See Also30 Top Parenting Posts From This Month That Will Leave You In Stitches33 Hilarious Tweets From The Week Because You Deserve To Have A Little LaughThe girls made a similar group and named it The Tortured Poets Department.
Advertisem*nt
Should I be disturbed by the way my 8-year-old daughter plays doctor? I was her patient today, and she just made me fill out forms the whole time.
— Laura Marie (@lmegordon) June 5, 2024
Was struggling with getting my daughter ready this morning she was catching an attitude, moving slower, and just overall mad she had to wake up. Do you know I said to myself “motherhood is so hard” she gon say “I have 6 babies and I do it everyday so I know” talking about them…
— Kira J (@IamKiraJ) June 5, 2024
Advertisem*nt
telling my baby at 2 am that I simply cannot engage in care work right now & I hope he seeks care from someone he’s been a more consistent sleeper with
— Mac Crane they/them (@mcrane_12) June 6, 2024
School spirit days are made up holidays invented to keep Amazon Prime in business
— Kristen Mulrooney (@missmulrooney) June 4, 2024
I'm glad my kids summer camp list of what not to pack had "alcohol" on there because I almost packed him a 6 pack of beer. Whew.
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) June 6, 2024
— My Life As Dad (@milifeasdad) June 5, 20246yo: How did you get mommy to date you?
Me: Because I’m charming.
6yo: Oh really? She said it was because you were the least annoying.
When I was a teenager my mom had a little mini candy stash at the very top of a cupboard that was Just For Mom and no one else was allowed to touch it and internally I was like "wow 😑 selfish much?" and anyway now I get it
— Amy Colleen (@sewistwrites) June 3, 2024
Advertisem*nt
— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) June 2, 2024Things my daughter called to talk to me about this week:
- chickens are mean
- 1+1 should equal 11
- if she was an author there would be more scary stories with cats
The best part of Father’s Day coming up is not having to worry about forgetting Mother’s Day.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) June 1, 2024
the other day i was sitting in a coffee shop and started chatting with a woman & we figured out our kids attend the same preschool. i was really tired and accidentally said something over-sharey and unfiltered and she immediately sat down and we talked for 3 hours straight.
— emily may (@emilykmay) June 2, 2024
— Celia (@CeliaBedelia) June 2, 2024My daughter asked, “Do you ever have any regrets, Mom?” And while I know she was asking this question on a philosophical level, my mind immediately went to this puffin sweater I saw in Iceland.
It’s been 3 years since I saw it in a shop there, & I still regret not buying it. pic.twitter.com/pnkVePdmaB
explain why when nothings going on my baby naps for 3 hours but when i need to work it’s 30 mins max
— amil (@amil) June 3, 2024
Advertisem*nt
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) June 5, 2024[6 AM]
Child [coming out of bedroom]: Is an orange named after the color or is the color named after the fruit?
Me [rubbing temples]: it is way too early for this
My kids said they wanted to try something new this summer so I showed them how to vacuum & do laundry.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) June 1, 2024
My kids have fun at school but the actual act of getting ready and going? They curse it with the heat of a thousand suns.
— MonsterKing (@CerromeRussell) June 6, 2024
— Lady Lawya (@Parkerlawyer) June 6, 2024My son turns 15 next week and I told him we should open presents at 2:12 pm because that’s when he was born and he said, “That’s a weird thing to keep in your memories but….whatever.”
Have kids. They’re a delight.
My 5yo: WHEN I GROW UP I WANT TO BE A SINGER AND A DANCER AND A MUSICIAN AND A VETERINARIAN AND A PASTOR AND A TEACHER
— Courtney Ellis 🎈 (@courtneyellis) June 3, 2024
Me: Wow! You’d be so good at—
5: I WASN’T DONE
Advertisem*nt
Popular in the Community
Close
